Putting First Things First

By Robin Fisher Roffer

Reprioritizing what’s really important is essential to reinventing yourself.

At the start of 2007, I dug deep and made a list of everything I needed to change in my life. I admitted to myself the harsh reality that during the workweek, I only spent two hours a day with my then seven-year-old daughter Roxy. My health was also at the top of the list; migraines and other stress-related disorders had begun to take their toll on me. The balance of the list was concerns about L.A. traffic and air quality, safety issues, my enormous workload that was toxically deadline driven, and the lack of time I gave to myself. I clearly needed to make a dramatic shift.

My husband and I hired Steve Shull, an L.A.-based business coach, to help us reprioritize our lives to find more joy, peace, and balance. By shining a light on the things that needed to be fixed, the solutions became clear.

Steve asked me, “What do you put first in your life?” I said, “My family.” He said, “I don’t think so, it seems to me that you put your business first and everything else last.” He was right. My father always told me that actions speak louder than words, and certainly my actions pointed to the fact that everything, including my child, my marriage and my health were getting the short end of the stick. With Steve’s help, I made a new list of priorities:

1. Health (without good health, you can’t work or enjoy your family)

2. Marriage (without a strong marriage, you and your children suffer)

3. Roxy

4. Business

5. Family and friends

This list began to work its magic and by the end of 2007, we let go of Roxy’s wonderful nanny, closed our thriving multi-million dollar interactive ad agency, turned our focus on reinventing brands and reigniting professionals and said goodbye to Hollywood. A week or two after we arrived in our new home in Santa Fe, we started spending more time with our daughter and business started rolling in—a validation of my favorite truism, ‘‘change is good.’’

When you are reinventing yourself, it’s not enough to simply change professions or perceptions; you have to change priorities.

What does my life look like now that I have reprioritized and put first things first? I work out every morning for an hour, see an aging specialist, play chauffeur and playmate to my daughter, have date night with my hubby, work as hard as I can when I’m in my office or with my clients and make an effort to see friends and family.

It’s a full and fulfilling life that requires tremendous organization and discipline, which I believe are the keys to happiness. Sometimes I get worn out and I feel overwhelmed, but I feel joy, which for so long alluded me.

To successfully evolve how you show up and how you are perceived in the world, you have to get clear about your relationship with yourself and everyone and everything important to you. The changes you make as a result of reprioritizing your life may not be as drastic as mine, but if you take what I’m suggesting to heart, I know they’ll be significant.

Reinventing yourself means not letting life happen to you, it’s about taking responsibility for what you want.