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6 Sure-Fire Ways To Get Your Swagger Back

By Robin Fisher Roffer

How To Raise Self Esteem When You’re Off Your Game

The other day, I was working out at the gym passively watching CNN on the wall in front of me. Suddenly, there he was on the screen… George Clooney. It was a replay of the actor-activist’s press conference at the White House when he spoke about Sudan. I couldn’t hear a word he was saying, and it didn’t matter. His swagger said it all.

What is swagger? It’s a confident way of moving that non-verbally says, “Pay attention, what I do and what I have to say matters.” Clooney’s swagger mixes humble with cocksure ease like nobody’s business.

Before the recession, many of you had Clooney-like swagger. You would walk into a room like a CEO and make things happen. You knew who you were; and told yourself you could do anything. Then, it all changed. Some of you lost customers or got taken down a peg with a pink slip. In what felt like a blink of an eye, you were brooding instead of producing – shell shocked instead of firing away.

I’ve been there, and I have to tell you there are ways to raise your self esteem and get your swagger back, and get it back better than before. Swagger and charisma go hand in hand. Think of Jennifer Lopez as she strides onto the American Idol stage on route to her judge’s chair. Wow! Before she goes on, I can imagine her backstage telling herself, “I’m beautiful, amazing and loved.” Self-talk is a big component to getting your swagger back.

Even If You Lost It, You Can Raise Self Esteem And Get Your Swagger Back Today. Here’s How:

1. STAND TALL. Height communicates authority. If you’re tall, accentuate it, own it and for goodness sake, don’t slouch. If you’re not tall, practice moving with confidence and wearing clothing that’s tailored to fit you. A clean line from head to toe gives the appearance of stature.

2. WALK RIGHT IN, SIT RIGHT DOWN. When you enter a room, don’t hesitate in the doorway or bashfully poke your head in. Remember, you belong! And if you have a choice, choose any upright chair over a sofa, which can swallow you up in a single gulp.

3. PASSIONATELY ENGAGE. Know these expressive tools: Wide eyes demonstrate interest. A very gentle nod indicates understanding, agreement, and approval. When you lean forward, your intensity and passion come across. It goes without saying that a gesture doesn’t substitute for what it represents, but with practice, using these positive and powerful physical communicators can become a natural way of expressing interest, understanding and passion.

4. LISTEN TO YOURSELF. Sit down with a tape recorder and talk. Then play it back. How did you do? Do you sound confident or fragile? Try lowering your voice down an octave and speaking from your diaphragm. Clooney and Lopez do this. Like them, you’ll be taken more seriously when you do.

5. EVALUATE YOURSELF AS A STORYTELLER. Grab a friend and tell him or her a how you see yourself. Unspool a story about your life. Again, make a recording. Listen for ums, ers, you knows and other hesitations. Listen for word tics, words that you overuse. Do you sound stilted? Does your enthusiasm and confidence come across in your voice?

6. SPEAK WITH A SMILE. We are living in a time where business relationships can go on for years without ever a face-to-face meeting. So knowing how to communicate swagger in your tone is essential. If you smile when you answer the phone, your smile will shine right through the lines. If you’re smiling, you’ll sound as if you couldn’t be more delighted to be talking to the person on the other end. An upbeat personality communicates self-assuredness, personal comfort, and a positive outlook.

Raise Self Esteem By Reconnecting To Your Swagger

Swagger comes from a place deep inside you. To reconnect with your swagger, go back in time to when you aced a presentation, won a project, received an honor or captured a major piece of business. Now, stand tall, speak with authority and smile ear-to-ear from that place of strength. You’ll find your self-esteem growing as you quietly say to yourself, “Clooney, step aside.”



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Join the Conversation...

Jan Carroll
I spent 30 years in education 12 as a teacher and 18 as an administrator. Last May I was told by the new principal that I was not going to have my contract renewed. I was shocked and asked what I could do. I had worked in the district for 10 years. Because we are contracted employees I did not have any way to stop the action. I am 56 years old, have my doctoral degree and I am a single female. Hence I am overqualified, too old and too expensive to hire. With a non-renewal districts won't look at me as a viable applicant. It has really rocked my self esteem and confidence. If there is some one who has experienced this type of situation I would love your input in getting myself out of this hole of depression and lack of confidence. Did I tell you I am a mother of 5 and unmarried? Life looks pretty bleak.
Kellie
Thank you so much for this article, Robin. I have been sick for what seems like forever. And my present condition is not ideal for feeling confident about talking to women about wellness and health on my Website or in person. Though chronic migraine has toughened me up and given me lots of experience, I still shy away from success...fear of failure I guess.
Robin Fisher Roffer
Dear Kellie and Jan, Thank you so much for sharing your struggles with me. I am honored to know you. Trouble can be a gift. I know that sounds counter-intuitive, but we are only given what we need to take us closer to our true destiny. Think about who you are without these challenges. Jan-- a vibrant, well educated, experienced teacher. Kellie-- a wellness and health expert. You are necessary. You are needed. By building on your strengths and not trying to top past successes, you can find your true calling. Don't give up. Here's something I wrote that may help get you into a no-fear zone and bring back the swagger. http://www.wholeliving.com/article/how-to-create-a-no-fear-zone
Anthony
Great post, as the owner of a small business, your points ring very true. I think the trick is not trying to conquer all of these at once but rather choosing one area for improvement and focusing on mastering that area.
Brenda Clevenger
I love your fresh writing style and the images you create -- George Clooney on mute, I'll take him. Thanks for the pep talk. We all need it these days because we have good work to do in the world and we can't lose momentum or swagger.
Robin Roffer
Yes. There is so much good work to do... you are right!
Cindy
Love this article on swagger! My project is The Girl's Guide to Swagger - we are talking about using high feminine confidence to improve the world.

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